Back to the States...
At this point, I’m just damn confused. Everyone just left me, and now I’m sitting in the President’s Club in Houston Airport with Mom. Amy, Cara, and Katie just left on their flights back home, and before my mom arrived here at the airport, we parted from Ryan and then finally from Jenn.
It was a rough morning, to say the least. We left at 4:50 am, about 35 minutes after schedule. None of us had really slept that night, so we left very tired and very sad. It wasn’t quite a happy scene being the first group to leave and having to say goodbye to that many people at once. We stayed up all night telling stories, writing letters to each other, playing a great game of truth or dare, all kinds of things. On Monday morning early, we left our houses to spend the last two days of our time in El Salvador at the retreat house, on a “disorienation retreat,” which was supposed to prepare us for re-entry in the States. There’s really nothing that could’ve prepared us for all that we have seen thus far and what we will continue to see—I’ll hit more of this later.
I had an annoying time trying to change my ticket this morning, which cost about 50 bucks to take care of, but thank the Lord I chose to go with it. I would’ve had a terrible time waiting around for my next flight for four hours, without some of my closest friends who were on the earlier flight. Initially, I was on the 12:20 flight instead of the early-morning 7:15. At the last minute, I figured it would be easy to change to the morning one at the airport, and it turns out that it was relatively harmless except that I had to pay an unexpected fee to change. Oh well, I just went with it after some consideration. Too tired, sad, and beat to wait around for so long at that miserable airport. Anyway, we get through security and get on the plane, of course with me in a completely different area of seats than my friends. After sitting down by myself, I finally saw that I was able to grab the window seat next to Amy and Katie. Much better. That flight was a lot of fun, I must say. We were tired and delirious, and we told stories and jokes and had a blast. It’s so much better to travel with a group of friends through all this crap than by one’s lonesome.
We get here in Houston and pass through Customs and Immigration unscathed. I had some problems getting my connecting flight ironed out, because it was initially 6:40 pm and I realized (with the help of my companions) that when I changed the early one, they changed the late one. That was not good, I knew, because my mom was going to meet me in Houston for the later flight and that my dad wouldn’t be able to get me till later that night. So, that was fun to deal with, but it got taken care of pretty easily. It was just one event after another, seemingly, but it’s worked out all day long. At this point, I just want to teleport home instead of dealing with a three-hour plane ordeal.
Culture shock. Reverse culture shock? I can’t really explain what it is. We were used to four months of living relatively simply, of witnessing people on the margins, and of rarely experiencing that upper crest Salvadoran society that so much mimics that we find here in the States. I thank the Lord that I don’t have the feeling as bad as some of my friends were suffering, but I feel that it’s still going to be a struggle trying to understand this society in reference to that in which I have lived for four months. I look around this room in the President’s Club, watching all these people and all this excess in so many ways, and it’s tough to comprehend. I’m a part of it, as a Jesuit priest at the UCA, Dean Brackley, says, part of the “middle class tribe.”
It was tough leaving; I was ready, but the people were pulling me back, in a good way. I didn’t want to leave the people with whom I had become so close for so long. I still had conflicts until the end and I still didn’t really like my place within the Casa, but leaving tends to wipe away those negative sentiments. The Casa is fresh on my mind, and I’m really going to try hard to understand its significance in my life from the other side, from my situation in the States. For me, I think that that will be the most valuable aspect of my time in Salvador, that of what I need to do with it afterwards, in the society I know best and in environments that give me life.
For now, though, like many of my program companions have already asked their loved ones, please let me process better everything that I have just experienced. It’s been a whirlwind of time, and I’m sure you’ll all hear about what it means to me at a later date—just not now. I’ll be happy to share stories and thoughts here and there, but for overall understanding or insight, it just ain’t coming right now. What I can do is be amazingly excited to see all my loved ones and share some “sacred spaces” (Casa lingo) with all of you.
It’s good to be back, but it’s confusing as hell. I’ve left the planet of Mars (what I’ve nicknamed El Salvador) only to return to this crazy culture. How? Why? I’ll continue asking these questions, and I’d be delighted to share it with whomever cares to listen. Thanks for reading, and God bless. Que Dios te guíe y te bendiga! Con todo amor—
AMDG,
Anthony
It was a rough morning, to say the least. We left at 4:50 am, about 35 minutes after schedule. None of us had really slept that night, so we left very tired and very sad. It wasn’t quite a happy scene being the first group to leave and having to say goodbye to that many people at once. We stayed up all night telling stories, writing letters to each other, playing a great game of truth or dare, all kinds of things. On Monday morning early, we left our houses to spend the last two days of our time in El Salvador at the retreat house, on a “disorienation retreat,” which was supposed to prepare us for re-entry in the States. There’s really nothing that could’ve prepared us for all that we have seen thus far and what we will continue to see—I’ll hit more of this later.
I had an annoying time trying to change my ticket this morning, which cost about 50 bucks to take care of, but thank the Lord I chose to go with it. I would’ve had a terrible time waiting around for my next flight for four hours, without some of my closest friends who were on the earlier flight. Initially, I was on the 12:20 flight instead of the early-morning 7:15. At the last minute, I figured it would be easy to change to the morning one at the airport, and it turns out that it was relatively harmless except that I had to pay an unexpected fee to change. Oh well, I just went with it after some consideration. Too tired, sad, and beat to wait around for so long at that miserable airport. Anyway, we get through security and get on the plane, of course with me in a completely different area of seats than my friends. After sitting down by myself, I finally saw that I was able to grab the window seat next to Amy and Katie. Much better. That flight was a lot of fun, I must say. We were tired and delirious, and we told stories and jokes and had a blast. It’s so much better to travel with a group of friends through all this crap than by one’s lonesome.
We get here in Houston and pass through Customs and Immigration unscathed. I had some problems getting my connecting flight ironed out, because it was initially 6:40 pm and I realized (with the help of my companions) that when I changed the early one, they changed the late one. That was not good, I knew, because my mom was going to meet me in Houston for the later flight and that my dad wouldn’t be able to get me till later that night. So, that was fun to deal with, but it got taken care of pretty easily. It was just one event after another, seemingly, but it’s worked out all day long. At this point, I just want to teleport home instead of dealing with a three-hour plane ordeal.
Culture shock. Reverse culture shock? I can’t really explain what it is. We were used to four months of living relatively simply, of witnessing people on the margins, and of rarely experiencing that upper crest Salvadoran society that so much mimics that we find here in the States. I thank the Lord that I don’t have the feeling as bad as some of my friends were suffering, but I feel that it’s still going to be a struggle trying to understand this society in reference to that in which I have lived for four months. I look around this room in the President’s Club, watching all these people and all this excess in so many ways, and it’s tough to comprehend. I’m a part of it, as a Jesuit priest at the UCA, Dean Brackley, says, part of the “middle class tribe.”
It was tough leaving; I was ready, but the people were pulling me back, in a good way. I didn’t want to leave the people with whom I had become so close for so long. I still had conflicts until the end and I still didn’t really like my place within the Casa, but leaving tends to wipe away those negative sentiments. The Casa is fresh on my mind, and I’m really going to try hard to understand its significance in my life from the other side, from my situation in the States. For me, I think that that will be the most valuable aspect of my time in Salvador, that of what I need to do with it afterwards, in the society I know best and in environments that give me life.
For now, though, like many of my program companions have already asked their loved ones, please let me process better everything that I have just experienced. It’s been a whirlwind of time, and I’m sure you’ll all hear about what it means to me at a later date—just not now. I’ll be happy to share stories and thoughts here and there, but for overall understanding or insight, it just ain’t coming right now. What I can do is be amazingly excited to see all my loved ones and share some “sacred spaces” (Casa lingo) with all of you.
It’s good to be back, but it’s confusing as hell. I’ve left the planet of Mars (what I’ve nicknamed El Salvador) only to return to this crazy culture. How? Why? I’ll continue asking these questions, and I’d be delighted to share it with whomever cares to listen. Thanks for reading, and God bless. Que Dios te guíe y te bendiga! Con todo amor—
AMDG,
Anthony
posted by Anthony Damelio at 6:07 PM
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